practice makes imperfections
by rockmos
Summary: What better time to practice asking someone out then in the middle of the night? That was Deimos' logic, anyway. [one sided Sanford/Deimos]


It had taken a very long time for Deimos to work up the nerve for what he was about to say, but after taking a deep breath and trying to pass it off as a sigh, he finally spoke.

"Heya there, Sanford," Already he could feel the sudden jolt of anxiety as he took his first few steps, but he managed to shake it off, and continue. "Just checkin' up on you and all, and, y'know, I was just, uh…" He cleared his throat as quietly as he could muster. "If maybe you'd like...to…" He bit his lower up, but not willing to admit defeat. "Boy, has it been a crazy time for us, huh? I mean, all of us in general, but, okay it has been a really, crazy year for us, huh?"

Deimos smiled nervously, reaching up and awkwardly scratching at his cheek, clearing his throat once again, feeling his mouth get even drier as the seconds ticked by. Focus.

"Y'know, we spend a lot of time together...but," He flashed his best casual grin that he could muster, and for a second, he almost fooled himself into thinking he actually was as collected as his face looked for a brief moment. "I was thinking we could spend even...more time together, if ya know what I mean." With a brisk, but nervous chuckle, he forced himself to continue. "Like…"

His entire body tensed up as he tried his best to gather to courage to just come out and say it, and stop all this...dancing around the subject bullshit he was clearly doing.

"Go out sometime?" He felt his cheeks just ever start to slightly burn,but still kept trying to make eye contact. "Like, y'know...a date?" He licked at his own teeth from his anxious smile, swallowing dryly still. Then, he tried to do his best, softer, and possibly alluring tone. "How about it, _Sanny_?" He cocked an eyebrow, something of a soft wheeze escaping from the back of his throat by accident.

If his reflection could, he would be rejecting himself right now at that...horrendous performance. All of the previous confidence completely fell flat as he slapped his hands over his face, letting out a long, guttural cringing noise.

"What the **FUCK **was that!?" Deimos yelled at himself as he dragged his hands down his face, continuing his self-berating. "He's gonna think you're a _fucking loser _if you say something like that!"

A loud groan emitted from Deimos, whipping around for a second from the bathroom mirror, but then spun around for a second to point at his own face accusingly. "**AND WHY'D YOU KEEP SAYING '**_**Y'KNOW**_'**!? HE'S SMARTER THAN YOU! OF **_**COURSE **_**HE KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY!**" Another grunt of frustration as he leaned over the sink, quickly turning it on cold as he sighed deeply.

The cold water against his skin was certainly a shock, but a welcome one at that, as he felt his hot face finally simmer down a bit as he tried to get over his own self humiliation.

At this rate, he'd more then likely get a restraining order and a kick in the face from Sanford then him ever agreeing to go out with him. Much less ever talk to him again. Deimos shook the water off his hands, twisting the tab of the sink off as he regained his composure.

Let's just, try this one again…

Deimos closed his eyes, stepping away from the mirror as he took in a deep breath. Then, he whipped towards the mirror again, fingergunning at his own reflection with a wink.

"Hey there, Sanford." He said, cheekily, snickering a little as he did. "How about I take you out tomorrow night? I know this hill where we can see all the stars and we can just...talk." He clicked his tongue as he shot the mirror a sultry look.

If Sanford were actually here, he would be staring at him with the most angry expression his stoic face could possibly muster, followed by a slow, surly shake of the head of disapproval.

At this, Deimos let both of his arms fall to his sides, face contorted in irritation. "_Why am I trying so damn hard?_" He quietly asked himself, not even sure of the answer himself.

In a moment of weakness, Deimos almost considered picking up his phone and actually searching for '_how to ask a guy out_', like he was fifteen years old again. He wouldn't let himself do it, however, mostly out of stubbornness. Maybe entirely so.

Truth be told, he honest to god didn't know what he was doing. Like, maybe his entire life, but mostly at this moment, especially right now. It wasn't that he had never asked someone out before in his entire life, but that was a long, long time ago. Now, he felt like he had no experience at all, and was just a clumsy, awkward teen again.

Deimos could barely even recall what he did back in the day to get the few dates that he did, but that's all they were, just dates. There were rarely any second or third dates, because he had a hard time dealing with commitment, or just became uninterested. Took him a long time until now to realize the reason as to why that kept happening was because they were girls. Whoops.

Whatever, that was then and this is now. He had never asked out a guy like Sanford before, so what angle he was _supposed _to be going for here was entirely beyond him.

He looked down at his jacket pocket, and almost considered pulling out a cigarette and lighting it to at least relief himself of some stress, but…coincidentally, Sanford would no doubt be annoyed at him smoking in the house.

Even if he was asleep right now.

At that thought, Deimos quietly peered the door open and glanced out into the long, bleak hallways. Not a soul in sight. He knew that he was far, far away from either where Sanford or Hank was sleeping right now, but he had to make sure neither had woken up.

God forbid either of them hear him talking to himself in the bathroom, let alone, about something like this. Not only would he be a laughing stock, but he'd also unintentionally out himself for his crush on Sanford, which he was very much not obvious about at all.

Nope. He'd done a good job at taking that one behind the vaught. _God he hoped it wasn't obvious._

Discarding the thought, Deimos glanced back at the mirror, pulling another grin. "Hey, San…" he tried once again, approaching the mirror with his hands in his pockets. "Wanna hang out sometime?" His face instantly fell, an amused look in his eye. "Hang out? What is this, third grade, for fuck's sake…" He muttered under his breath.

To think he knew more about computers and coding then the average person in the room, and yet he couldn't figure out how to just ask someone out on a date properly. The clock was ticking and it was getting incredibly late.

"I need to quit this subtlety shit and just-come right out and say it," He gritted his teeth for a brief moment before awkwardly putting his hands out in front of him. "Sanford, I need to tell you something, and god dammit, you're gonna listen you, you," His composure died on the spot. "Yeah, be aggressive Deimos, that'll get you a date." He mocked himself.

Just as he was on the verge of saying something else to his reflection, however, he heard something. They were footsteps, ones that were coming towards the bathroom. Deimos' heart dropped to his stomach as he looked over to the door.

Oh no. That must've been Sanford. _Shit, shit, shit. _He had gone and woke him up and he was probably mad at him for making so much noise at this ungodly hour, Deimos felt his heart start to race as he braced himself, hearing a knock on the bathroom door.

"Yeah?" Deimos called out, in a tone as calmly as he could.

"_Deimos, it's like, eleven._" A voice that was very much not Sanford replied.

Hank. It was Hank. Although that cooled some of Deimos' anxiety, he grumbled softly as he clicked the door open. Hank was no longer wearing his usual mercenary get-up, his hair falling just in front of his scar-filled face as he wore a very tired and irritated expression.

"Why are you up so late?" Hank asked, although in a relatively monotone tone, it was obviously an exhausted one.

At this, Deimos tried to make his reply as quick as he could to not look suspicious. "I can't sleep." Although that was an extremely vague reply, he tried to sell it the best he could.

"So you decided that making noise in the bathroom would quell your insomnia?"

Deimos grunted slightly, looking to the side for a moment before returning his gaze at Hank, not wanting to get too aggressive with his boss. Not that he pays him. "Look, I'm just stressed out, alright?" The next part came out softer. "I'm sorry, I'll go to bed in a minute."

After a few moments of silence, Hank let out a sigh as he rubbed the side of his face. "Alright, fine, fine, get some rest soon."

With that, he departed, walking down the side of the hallway he had come from, but just as Deimos was about to close the door, Hank stopped, and peered back over his shoulder.

"Oh, and Deimos?"

Deimos cocked an eyebrow, curious. "Yeah…?"

Even in the darkness, it was obvious Hank was grinning.

"Good luck asking out Sanford."

Deimos had choked harder on the air then he ever did with his first cigarette.


End file.
